On Loosing Faith

To receive confession as a priest is never a burden for a clown, for in being a clown, one has already confessed much.

And despite being a clown, whose tears paint his very face, I would seek to hear yours, my brother, that you may drain your amphora and let it be filled once more by God.

And this confession is about the hunger of the Soul. In its very declaration is a revelation of its hope and its madness.

Madness is the hope of all creators, for it would seek to break old laws and stone tablets. Yet on this very note also, hope is the madness of the unfaithful, for hope is written on a new stone, and not in the luster of fool's gold.

Such madness of the Spirit would consume you, my brother, if you would let it. But of course, cold winds can deaden even great flames, and more often than not reduces them to embers...

But remember, lonely one, that even embers can return into great flames. But such embers need careful preparation and much tending.

A painful hunger is this privation of the Soul. For after eating a few crumbs, one quickly forgets their flavor...

Like an embittered Tantalus, one longs for the Banquet Feast of the Lamb. Yet while in the fetters and darkness of prison, one must resign to coldness and starvation.

"Forty years must the disciple fast in the wilderness." Thus speaks wisdom. But also does it state, "One must even dare to rejoice in one's fasting!"

A bitter silence and confusion is that of the Soul. In madness it would break its own creation, for while in the wilderness, it forgets the meaning of its own madness and creation!

Solitude is the penance which breaks or forges Souls. Upon the anvil of solitude, the hammer of pain would shape you into what you must become.

Such hammering and difficulty can break even strong blades. And yet this is the very fire that would give you strength, if you will acknowledge your own strength!

But are you capable of this? To endure the hammer of the Law, the discomfort of too much contradiction? Can you, while tempered in hot flames, endure the terrible chill of frost and solitude?

In your hunger, can you restrain your hand from the offerings of beggars? Are you willing to starve in order to tempt the tempter?

Have you not yet remembered the agony of your Spirit, which weeps upon seeing the divine perish? My brother, strive and seek to remember your Spirit, whose agony inspires the longing for creation.

Defiant are these rebels, who long for creation. Honored is the will of those who do not look first to stars for a reason to descend and perish.

But are you willing to do this? To enter dark chasms and the abyss of despair, without even expecting to return?

Can you enter hell without looking back, to accept defeat in order to become victorious?

Do you desire to be a creator of new tablets, to chisel new laws on new stones? Then show me your right and your strength to do so! Terrible is the strength needed to chisel new laws on new stones, especially when one lacks the light to see one's work.

For it is written in characters of fire: "The Gods emerge from the abyss by means of fire, and get lost within the Darkness."

My brother, you will forge a new God and a new Law from your despair. Out of fire and chaos shall your will be tempered, if you will allow yourself to be tempered.

Joyful is the song of tempered steel, for it longs to be shaped into a new creation. Where there is acceptance, the hammer becomes as welcome as the pillow.

So lay yourself upon the anvil of solitude, my brother, and only much later shall your justice be forged.

Raise your amphora of hope and delirium back unto the Spirit, that He may deliver your fill of wisdom.

Intoxicating is this wine and madness of the Spirit, for it would convert the abstemious into the drunkards of the Spirit, and would defy the insanity of the sane.

Glorious is this wine and intoxication of the Spirit, for unlike other wines, it can never put one to sleep.

My brother, you are going the way of the hammer and the forge. Show me your courage to be tempered, in order that the weapon of your new hope may shine from your affliction.

Thus speaks Ding Dong.